Bird Girl Page 6

  Lacey didn’t point out that she used to go there, because she figured he was trying to make her feel better. And she knew there was no beehive, but he didn’t want her to think he was eating lunch in a stuffy store just so she didn’t have to have Lana’s punishment rubbed in her face.

  “Okay,” she said, “Maybe we’ll do tradesies again this time? I mean, only if you want to.”

  “Show me what you have and then I’ll tell you. At 11:00.” He smiled, shook Lacey’s hand and said loudly, “Thank you very much, Miss, for my wonderful experience here at The Mad Cutter. I will surely be back for more,” and with that he dropped some money on the front desk, walked out the door right past Lana, and crossed the street to his store.

  ✽✽✽

  Mark hoped that his trip to where Lacey worked wouldn’t get her in trouble. But that Demon girl had really gotten on his nerves. What kind of petty person denies someone their lunch because they don’t like them? And plus, she had wanted him to see her “in her element,” and now he had. And he was excited to tell her that she seemed 100% normal and may even be considered an exceptional human being. But lunchtime came and Lacey didn’t. He waited to eat until it was 12:00 and The Price is Right was over.

  He told himself it wasn’t a big deal and he was just being nice anyway, but he couldn’t help wondering why she hadn’t come. Maybe now that she had redeemed herself she was done with him. She had just wanted him to have the right impression of her. He supposed he could have checked the park by Julio’s, but if she wanted to have lunch with him, she would’ve come to his store.

  As he left the store that night, he glanced over his shoulder to see any sign of blonde-headed activity, but there was nothing. So, he resisted the urge to walk on the curb and set off to go home.

  About two minutes into Mark’s walk he heard someone running and panting behind him. “Mark!” a voice yelled. “Wait!” Mark turned around and saw Lacey running towards him, clearly out of breath and sweating. When he turned around she put her hands on her knees and took a few moments to regain some oxygen.

  “Lacey, what happened?”

  “Mark, I’m – “ Her panting turned into wheezing which turned into coughing and she held up her index finger to indicate he should wait a minute.

  “Wow, you’re really out of shape.”

  She nodded. “Thanks,” she said between coughs.

  “Sorry. Anyway is there some sort of trouble?”

  “What? Trouble?” She began to speak as her coughing subsided. “Well, yes there is. Spanx really don’t breathe at all – you shouldn’t go running in them.” He stared at her blankly. “That’s not the point, though. I just – I wanted to tell you…I was going to leave for my lunch break when Lana suddenly decided it was urgent that somebody restock everything in the store.

  "There was hardly anything that needed restocking, because no one ever buys anything, because everything in there is crap, so it should not have taken me very long. But she decided she wanted to change the whole system and move shampoos to serums and serums to mousses – how do you pluralize “mousse” when talking about the hair product? Mousses? Mousse? Meese? Anyway, by the time I was done my next appointment had arrived. I didn’t even get to eat and I missed The Price is Right.”

  “The Price is Right?”

  “I know it’s geeky, but I like it. Anyway, Lana kept me doing pointless things for a good long while.”

  “That lady is nuts,” he said. “She can’t deprive you of your lunch. You should file a complaint.”

  “It’s not worth it. Anyway, she’s not here much longer. Well, she’ll be here, just not working at the salon. Hopefully. So, I just wanted to apologize. I hope you weren’t waiting for me.”

  “No, no…I mean, I was a little bit, but I figured you’d just gotten busy with something and weren’t able to take a break.”

  “Hey,” she said as she pulled him into a little coffee shop so they weren’t in the way of the few other people who were walking home from work. “What are you doing this weekend? You know that movie Sharknado? Well it – “

  “Oh, Lacey, I’m actually going away this weekend. Sorry, I should have told you.”

  “No you shouldn’t have! I mean, why would you? It’s not like we…tell each other things…”

  “Well, now that I think about it, I don’t really have to stay the whole weekend. I can just go Saturday – “

  “No, I don’t want to interrupt your plans! Please, just do whatever you were going to do.”

  “All I was going to do was sit in my cousin’s beach house for a few hours and wait for a couch to be delivered. He would do it, but he’s away on business. They just got this house and they’re planning on renting it out, and they’re almost finished with it.

  The couch is supposed to come Saturday, and I was interested to see the Jersey shore anyway. I grew up in Kansas, so I didn't spend much time at the beach. I mean, I had a sandbox when I was little and we had pails and shovels, but I’ve never really been to a proper beach.”

  “Oh! Well, don’t expect too much. The Jersey shore is 25% sand, 25% ocean, and 50% pollution. You’ll have fun, though. Just be careful picking up seashells – sometimes they’re not just seashells.”

  “Actually, why don’t you come with me? You can show me around. We can just go for Saturday if you want. We have to wait for possibly four hours in the morning for the couch, but then we can go to the beach for the rest of the day.”

  “Really? That sounds fun. I would like that.”

  “Great. So, Saturday we’ll go to the shore.”

  “Down the shore,” she corrected.

  “Well, I don’t know if it’s down or not. I’m not exactly sure of the geography of the whole – “

  “No, I mean when you’re in Jersey you say you’re going ‘down the shore,’ not ‘to the shore.’”

  “I don’t get it.”

  “There’s nothing to get. That’s just what you say.”

  “But what if you’re going north? Wouldn’t you be going up the shore then?”

  “No, it’s always down the shore. Believe me. Also, I’ve noticed you seem to be unfamiliar with the terms "hoagie" and "pork roll.” Maybe I’ll fill you in on Jersey terms a little more on Saturday.”

  “Okay…I’ll log that information away. I’ll see you for lunch tomorrow and we’ll talk about the details of the weekend…”

  “Sounds great!” Lacey said as she turned around and smacked straight into the coffeehouse door. “You probably have a tally going, don’t you?” she said. Mark laughed.

  Chapter 4

  Throughout the week, Lacey spent her lunch break at Mark’s mostly empty store. They would usually go halfsies on lunch, because Lacey was always jealous of what Mark had. He offered to just make her lunch for her, but she refused; she didn’t want to impose. And then she really would feel like she was in the first grade. So, instead she would take half of his lunch and give him half of her soggy peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Although she usually had Devil Dogs, so it was kind of even.

  Then, if there was time, after they were done eating she would help him put up shelves while watching The Price is Right and arguing over the validity of the prices. Their friendship did not seem to go unnoticed by Lana, who could see them from right across the street. Suddenly, they had become “Mark and Lacey,” and people often mistook them for a couple. It had only been a week and everyone was already associating them with one another.

  Saturday morning came and Lacey was in her robe, fresh out of the shower, trying out a new makeup technique that was supposed to make you look like you had no makeup on and you were just naturally that beautiful, meanwhile there was a pound of foundation caked up inside your pores. Not to mention bronzer. What was the big deal with bronzer anyway?

  She had picked out a cute little peach-colored sundress, had a big floppy beach hat and sunglasses, her flip flops with the stick-on rhinestones she had applied the night before, and she had her alarmingly l
arge beach bag all packed and ready to go.

  Lacey glanced at her phone and saw that it was exactly 7:00. She figured she had a few minutes, as men were always late, so she plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. She played her favorite game of ‘flick through all the channels so you can barely even tell what’s on and almost have a seizure.’ Then, after only going through about three channels, her doorbell rang.

  Mark stood at the door looking like he was ready to go to a ball game. “Hey!” he said. “You ready?” Lacey stared at him and wondered how she could somehow morph the baggy jeans and long-sleeve T-shirt into Bermuda shorts and – wait. Where was his beach stuff?

  “Where’s your stuff?” she asked.

  “My stuff?”

  “Yeah, I’ll put it in my beach bag.”

  "Beach bag? What, like a bag that has the beach in it? I’m pretty sure if we had that we wouldn’t need to be traveling all the way down to the boardwalk, Lace.” He looked impressed at his joke.

  Lace. He had never called her that before. Suddenly she wished she had a nickname she could give him, but ‘Mark’ was already one syllable. And she couldn’t give him his real nicknames – Maxi Pad Man, Sandal Saver Man, Price is Wrong Man, Shelf-Mounter Man, No Beach Bag Man.

  “Lacey?”

  She got her focus back. “A beach bag,” she held up hers “is a bag you bring to the beach. It has everything you need in it – a towel, sunscreen, water bottles, magazines, books –“

  “Wait, we have to bring all that stuff?” he asked with a stunned look on his face. “I thought they provided that for you.”

  Lacey waited for him to start laughing and pull a beach bag out from behind him with everything packed neatly, all ready to go, but that didn’t happen.

  “It’s not a hotel resort, Mark! They don’t provide heated towels for you.” She laughed. He looked confused. “Okay, why don’t you come in,” she said.

  They spent the next 15 minutes filling Lacey’s bag with the manliest beach towel she owned. (Unfortunately, it pictured Jessica Rabbit – hers was not much better, as it was Betty Boop). They dug out more sunscreen (and figured that the expiration date was just there for liability reasons). Eventually, they filled up her bag with just about everything they both could need.

  "Oh! I have snacks too.” Lacey smiled.

  “Well good, and I brought lunch,” Mark held up a bag that Lacey hadn’t seen when he first walked in. “Okay, let’s go before it gets any later.” Just as they stepped into the doorway a face appeared in front of them. Connor.

  The redheaded college freshman held a bag out. “I brought you fresh Chinese doughnuts,” he said. “Well, okay, they’re from last night but they’re still really good.”

  “Connor, we’re actually on our way out so –“

  “That’s – oh.” He looked at Mark. “You’re going to the beach. Together.”

  “Yes, just for a day to wait at his cousin’s beach house for a couch.”

  “Don’t you only need one person to do that?” he asked, glaring at Mark.

  “Four hours is a long time to wait for something all by yourself,” she said and looked at him sympathetically. “But I can have Chinese doughnuts with you tomorrow!” she said, trying to perk him up.

  He thought for a minute. “Okay, when you get back, you owe me a date, okay?”

  “Whoa, whoa, wait a minute now…” Mark scoffed.

  “Are you her boyfriend?” Connor put his hands on his hips and tilted his head to the side. Mark shuffled his feet awkwardly.

  “No.”

  “Then I don’t see why this would affect you.” He turned and faced Lacey. “So, when you get back? We’ll set something up? Somewhere public. Like at my school. They have a great little diner place. You can order their mountain of cheese fries; it’s pretty grand actually. It’s where most of the, you know, cool guys hang out. You’ll have to meet them. They’ll love you.” As Connor spoke his eyes glazed over with wistfulness.

  Lacey hesitated. “Okay…alright.” Mark, with a perplexed expression, whipped his head around to look at Lacey. “One date. I promise you that I will go on one date with you. And then after that, no more asking me out to parties or weddings or anything like that, deal?”

  “Deal!” He smiled and heaved a sigh of relief. “Okay, so I’ll see you guys when you get back! Maybe tomorrow we can meet to go over the details of our date.” He started to walk away and then turned to Mark. “You know, I’ve known Lacey for a long time, and I think I should ask you a few questions. She’s really – “

  “OKAY! Bye, Connor!” She smiled and shut the door. They would have to wait a few minutes to go, just until he was gone and they were safe to un-awkwardly walk to the car.

  ✽✽✽

  “You’re going to go on a date with that creep?” Mark asked.

  “He’s a nice kid. I feel bad for him,” she said as she made her way to the fridge to take out a Snapple. “Here,” she tossed the drink to him. “Are you hot?” she asked. “You look all red. I turned the air off a few hours ago. If we’re going to stay here for a little while I can turn it back on.”

  Mark caught the drink, all the while his gaze still focused on the back of the door. “New Jersey is the home of the world’s first drive-in movie theatre,” he heard Lacey say. “Mark? Are you okay?”

  Mark pulled his gaze away from the door and looked at Lacey, suddenly remembering where he was. “Oh, sorry. Yeah, a drive-in is it?” He didn’t know what she was talking about. He just knew that creepy little kid was trouble. Mark just felt like there was something wrong with the brace-face, like he was lying about something. And he didn’t want him and Lacey to be friends.

  What was he thinking? So what if Conan was friends with Lacey? She could have more than one friend. She did have more than one friend. She was a very friendly person. He just got the feeling that this Calvin guy was a little too friendly. Friendly in the way a serial killer was friendly.

  “So, it would be kind of cool, wouldn’t it? To go to a drive-in in New Jersey? What do you think, Mark? Which is better, the theatre or the car?”

  “Um…you know what, we have to get going if we want to get there before the guys come. Do you have everything?”

  “Yup! Beach bag, purse, Snapple…that’s all I need.”

  Mark pulled something out of his lunch bag and offered it to her. “Snickers?” This time Lacey’s face was red.

  ✽✽✽

  “Alright, it’s not the coolest car and it’s not a very girl-friendly car, but it’s a mode of transportation nonetheless, and we need one of those to get to the beach, so you’re going to have to suck it up and take it like a man.”

  “Are you talking to me or you?” Lacey joked. She started to step into the car and had to heave herself forward in an effort to actually make it there, 20 yards up from the ground.

  “Okay there?” Mark chuckled.

  “You know,” she said as she fixed her dress and tried to sit comfortably (which actually wasn’t too hard as it was very roomy), “it would be nice if one of these times when I’m looking like an idiot you would be kind enough to politely pretend not to notice.”

  “Maybe, but I’m not always nice.” He closed her door, walked around the car, and got in on his side.

  “I think we established that you are nice when I was slobbering all over you because you bought me a lifetime supply of feminine products.”

  “Yeah, that,” he said, “does not ever get mentioned again.”

  “What’s so embarrassing about it anyway? I mean, I get embarrassed when I have to buy stuff like that because the person ringing it up knows it’s for me. No one thinks a guy is buying tampons for himself. They just figure you’re a nice boyfriend or brother or husband or something.”

  “This really is not a topic I was ready to discuss.” Mark plugged in his iPod and began to drive.

  He was actually hoping that Lacey would hate the music he put on, and they would be forced to talk for the w
hole ride there. He wanted to know how long she’d known this Colby kid and what his background was. Maybe he could get her to give him his last name. Then he could Google him.

  But they spent the whole drive listening to Billy Joel (he should have known – everybody likes Billy Joel) and a little Bon Jovi, Lacey singing along the whole time.

  “I think this is it,” Mark announced as he pulled into the driveway of a pale blue house, surrounded by nearly identical houses painted different pastel colors.

  "Oh this is so pretty!” Lacey jumped out of the car (literally) and scampered to the back seat to grab her things. “This will be fun! Beach houses always smell the best. Like the beach. Except I think it must be, like, a Febreeze thing or something, because the beach over here doesn’t smell nearly as good as the houses do.”

  Just as Mark unlocked the front door to the house, his phone rang. “Hey Ian, what’s up? We just got here. Place looks nice.”

  “Hey Mark. Listen,” his cousin started, “I really appreciate what you’re doing, but I wanted to ask you just one more favor.” He sounded hesitant.

  “What?” Mark waited for his request.

  “We had a little mix up and the bed wasn’t delivered when it was supposed to be so they’re going to be bringing by a bed too.”

  “Well, that’s no big deal.”

  “Yeah, it’s just that the bed is supposed to come tomorrow. Are you there with anyone? I didn’t mean for you to have to spend the whole weekend cooped up in the house all alone.”

  “Yeah, there’s someone here with me. We weren’t really expecting to stay overnight. Neither of us brought a change of clothes or anything.”

  “Oh, you don’t care about a change of clothes! You go from the gym to the grocery store without even taking a shower. And I’m sure whoever your buddy is won’t care either. Plus, it’s the beach. Everyone always looks dirty at the beach. All that sand. You’ll just look like you guys are surfers or something. Okay, I gotta go. Thanks so much! Let me know when the stuff’s arrived!” And with that, Ian hung up.